Just Like Judas

 

Today’s blog is written by my best friend of 18 years Jessica. When we met in 2003 at church camp we did not know that we would be forever friends. We understand each other, we can finish each other’s sentences and when we mess up our words because our minds are jumbled or tired we usually know what the other meant to say and when we don’t what the other meant to say we just laugh with each other.When I first decided to begin writing I reached out to Jessica. She has a blog as well and I knew that she would have great insight as to where to begin. There was a moment when we were in college that we were playing Cranium with her husband Travis and our friend Ricky. It was a girls vs boys evening and it was the girls turn. Our next challenge was for me to fashion something out of the clay that comes with the game and then Jess had to guess what I was molding. Guess what? The clay was hard as a rock so we got creative and used a dish towel. The boys were certain they had the win because of this disadvantage of having to use a dish towel instead of clay. I looked at my card and saw that I now had to sculpt my dish towel to look like Legos. I laid the towel on the ground and just starting making building motions and within seconds Jess yells, “legos!” I shouted, “you’re right!” And we screamed for our victory and started crying because we were laughing so hard from unbelief that we pulled out the victory. The boys of coarse thought we cheated because they believed there was no way that Jess could have guessed Legos with the sculpting skills they saw from me but she did guess right and we did not cheat. I tell this story to prove how much we are on the same page and understand each other. She is a wonderful wife, mother and friend! She and her family are missionaries on the Urban Eagles soccer team down south and have dedicated their lives to showing the love of Jesus with their community.  I wanted to post her work today because I believe that her life will have an impact on our simple extravagance readers. This is my friend Jessica’s heart. I ask that you go to her page by clicking here (Jess Writes Here ) and subscribe to her writings as well.

Judas has been on my mind lately. Maybe it has something to do with Easter behind us, and the fact that he was the one who set Jesus’ walk to the cross in motion. I don’t want to give too much credit to Judas because ultimately the Lord’s plan would’ve played out with or without Judas, but his role is pivotal in the most amazing story ever.

I often wonder if I’m like Judas. Would I betray Jesus to the point of death? Would the lures of this world be enough to entice me to deny my Lord? Would I sacrifice my beloved to receive glory? My body wells up with goosebumps when I think about such things, but something inside me can’t help but ask these questions. Am I really like Judas?

I think about all the time Judas spent with Jesus. He was with him throughout the three years of Jesus’ ministry. He dined with Jesus, he walked with Jesus, he listened to Jesus’ sermons, he witnessed Jesus perform miracles, and he allowed Jesus to wash his feet. You would think after all this time Judas would’ve come to really know and love Jesus. Judas was Jesus’ disciple, follower, and friend. I want to ask Judas after all he and Jesus had been through why he’d give Jesus up like that. Did he not realize what the ramifications of his actions would be? Did he not realize he was turning Jesus over to be killed? The ultimate betrayal.

“Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, ‘The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.’" Matthew 26:48

So surely I’m better than Judas, right?

Here’s the thing, my flesh desires the trappings of this world just as Judas did, praise for my writing and all the time I put into it, accolades for being a good mom and a good wife. I get sucked into believing if my clothes, my home, my life looked a certain way, then I’d be satisfied. Most days I would rather succumb to the pleasures and comforts of the world than fight the good fight because life is hard. Maybe that was Judas. He was at the point where he just needed 30 pieces of silver. So he thought, I’ll just tell these “important people” where Jesus is. It’s not that big of a deal, really. How many times have I said those same words? It’s not that big of a deal, really.

But it is that big of a deal. Anything I do that is not with God makes me just like Judas. I choose to let my flesh win. While I haven’t surrendered Jesus to anybody for 30 pieces of silver, I betray him everyday, letting my pride, my accomplishments, and my covetousness become my idols. And if I’m real honest, I have given Jesus up for cravings that probably cost less than 30 pieces of silver.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

Most mornings the first thing I do is scroll social media, checking my likes and comments (or lack there of). And most mornings I feel a nudge right before I click the app on my phone. I know this nudge is the Holy Spirit, and I know he’s wooing me anywhere but there, beckoning me to come and sit with him, allowing him to fill me up for the day. A bible verse, a song, silence before the kids wake, anything but Instagram or Facebook. Instead I give in to my cravings of desiring approval from others, and by the end I feel empty. My joy is stolen as I compare my life to the beautiful—and sometimes deceiving—images of others. And every time I feel like I betrayed a friend and what little time I do have to spend with Him.

My heart goes out to Judas with compassion. He grieved after what he did. He felt shame, so much so that he killed himself. When I read his tragic story I wonder why he didn’t return to Jesus. Why didn’t he run to the cross? It wasn’t enough that he threw the money back to the religious leaders. Maybe that was his way of making things right, but he still bore the guilt of his actions to the very end. If only he would’ve come back to Jesus with humility, with sorrow, with a repentant heart. What then?

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

The beauty found in grace is that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves. We all sin, we all fall short of the glory of God, and we all are just like Judas. But the great news is we don’t have to stay there. That is why Jesus came, that is why Jesus died, and that is why Jesus defeated death. So we don’t have to. All he asks is that we have faith.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith.” Ephesians 2:8

I like to believe Jesus would’ve forgiven Judas if only he would’ve returned to Him. Just as he forgave Peter for denying him three times. Just as he forgave David and Jacob and Jonah and so many others.

Just as he forgives me.