Curveball

Since moving to Ohio I have pondered going back to work full-time as opposed to part-time work which is a big deal for those of us mamas who have been staying home with the kiddos. My brother-in-law heard of an opening for a Corporate Recruiter position at the company where he works and he thought that I could be a good fit for the position; so he referred for me to apply. I agreed that if I were going to go back to work full-time that this type of position would be something that I would want to do. 

My husband had me take the Predictive Index test and I tested highest as a promoter. My favorite job was when I attended Anderson University and traveled on the school’s leadership team to various camps around the United States to promote the university to high school-aged students. I always said that if I could find a job like this I would love my job. Could it be that this was the time for me to step into a recruiter role while we figured life out here in Ohio?

The lure of having a full-time salary drew me in. I wanted to go get the car…I mean I am still driving my first car from 2007. I wanted the bigger house with the pool, fire pit and hot tub. I always thought and still do believe that I want to be the house where all of my kid’s friends come hang out. We would be the place for the church youth group to come hang out, our pool would be the pool where baptisms would occur and life change would happen. Our house would be the safe and fun place that the kid’s friends would want to come to after Homecoming and Prom. I began to dream of being in this position and also of providing for my children’s futures and being able to participate financially when it comes to their wants and needs. 

I KILLED it at my first interview. I really really liked the girl who interviewed me and the atmosphere of the office felt like a great fit. Michael even came home from an interview there (because we unknowingly applied for the same position) and he said that the office just screamed my personality. After this first interview I felt at peace, excited and that maybe it really was time to step into this type of role. The interviewer even told me that she told her co-workers that she had just had the best interview and I told her that I agreed and I too had a great time!

I got a call back and we scheduled a second interview. I turned down another job because I wanted to see where this Corporate Recruiter position would go and they were unwilling to wait for me to have this other interview. Yesterday, on my way to this second interview the sun was shining and though it was cold outside I could feel the warmth of the sun in my car which created a warmth and a peace I cannot describe. I began to pray out loud, “God, I have this lure to want the car, the house and to provide but you know me better than I know myself. I am not in a place where I can make a choice. I need you to make it CLEAR for me on if I should work here or not. Please open and close doors. Everything I do is first and foremost for You and then for my family. My family, as you know are my greatest treasures! Is it time for me to go to work full-time at this place, full-time or part-time somewhere else or do you still want me home? Is this the job for me or do you have something else?” 

I felt God whisper, “Erin, trust me with everything. Remember how I provided for the Israelites in the wilderness all those years ago? Remember how I rained manna down from the sky?”

 “I have seen rain, snow and hail but I have never seen bread rain down from the sky.”

“Well, I rained manna down from the sky. I AM unchanging. I AM the same God now as I was then. I will provide for you and your family. Just trust me.”

At the interview, I met with a different woman and again I felt like it went great! Our conversation flowed and I felt at peace. At the very end she asked me if I had any questions so I thought well, I’ll just go for it. I asked her, “After meeting with me and hearing about my skills and abilities do you think that I would be a good fit in your department or do you see me working in a different department? I know I keep saying I want to be a recruiter but do you see me fitting somewhere else?” The other jobs they have spoken with me about have not been of interest to me but I thought I would ask anyway. She told me that she believed I would be a great fit in the department and that I would get along with the ladies there. So, there was my answer. I thought this position was mine. 

Today, when my phone rang and I saw it was my first interviewer, I thought for sure she was going to offer me a position. I ran back to my room for privacy, “Hello, this is Erin!” As soon as she spoke I knew this was not the conversation I thought I would be having. Her voice did not sound at ease but had more of a formality sound to it and I knew before she even said it that they were not offering me the position for this job. When we hung up and I walked slowly back to the kitchen where my family was eating lunch, I was shocked. I told Michael that I did not get the position and then I felt them, the tears began to well-up from deep within and I got that full feeling in my throat. Typically, tears flow easily from this chick but this time I heard the LORD whisper, “No! No tears today! You asked for this! You asked me to make it clear to you and I have. Today is not a day for crying but today is a day for rejoicing!” 

Psalm 118:24

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

If life is not going the way you had planned, and the tears are mounting up; take a moment to pray and ask, “God, is this a day for weeping or rejoicing?” 

Because, here is the thing, when we are followers of Jesus and we are asking Him for guidance; closed doors are not a time for crying but a time for rejoicing because this closed door is actually God’s provision. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Just as I want to provide for my children, to provide for all of their wants and needs we have a good Father who wants to provide for ours too. I for one wait in anticipation for what He has in store. 

As I write, I remember waiting in line at Cedar Point when Millenium Force was brand new. We waited in line in the hot, hot sun for hours but when we hit the mid-point of the line people who just finished the ride yelled at us, “It is worth the wait!!!! It is worth the wait!!!” That moment in time has forever spoken to me. “It is worth the wait,” has rang true in many areas of my life and I know that there is a great cloud of witnesses proclaiming Jesus’ name in Heaven shouting, “It is worth the wait!” 

So may we proclaim and rejoice today because it is worth the wait! There is something thrilling on the other side and for now we WAIT and REJOICE!