UNQUALIFIED

June of 2023 I completed my year as a 3rd grade tutor and have spent the summer looking for jobs while being home with my children making memories. This has literally been the best summer of my life with my kids and husband. My children are growing up so fast and have tried so many new things that originally scared them a little. They rode their first roller coasters, they have learned to tread water, they have jumped off the diving board into the deep end and they have fallen in love with all of these things that originally scared them. It has been so fun for me to be a part of this, to play with them, to see their faces with huge smiles as they try new adventures. Their self confidence has strengthened and soared. I am sad to say goodbye to summer as we prepare to head back to school in a week but I know it is time for me to step back into a career and time for me to trust that they are prepared and ready for the life God has in store for them. I am ready to provide for my children in new and different ways. In watching them this summer I have seen that just as they tried new things and loved it, I too can step into new adventures and try things that scare me a little. 

 I have applied for so many jobs. I had one interview and the job did not pan out. I have not received one phone call for an interview since my first interview and I was beginning to feel defeated and down on myself. UNQUALIFED is the word that has been screaming in my ears. I have heard, “You are unqualified! You have been out of your career for so long what could you possibly have to offer?” This is the enemy whispering lies into my ears. I have been out of my career in business for almost 10 years. I have a lot to learn and catch up on but I am capable and willing to learn and grow. I was almost in tears thinking these things and then my kids asked me to play coffee shop with them. It was in this moment  where God opened my eyes to see that this is what I want right now in my life.

 I want to see my kids play during this summer, I want to play with them, make memories and laugh until we cry. I want to make our faces messy with ice cream while sitting on our porch during the day. We have had such a great time this summer. As ice cream and hot summer days transition into school orientation, first day of school pictures and carving game times into the evening hours before bed God has whispered to my heart that He has my children, my husband and He even has me in His hands. He looks at me and sees me as not UNQUALIFED but as His daughter. So I turned to Him, my Heavenly Father,  and as I sat down the next morning with my heart in my hands, recalling the memories of coffee shop from yesterday but also looking towards my future, God reminded me through His word to set my heart to seek Him in any and every situation. That I should seek my help from Him, the LORD. That when I do not know what to do I should keep my eyes on Him.

  This battle of finding a job is not mine but it is the LORD’s. And it was here in scripture where I hung my hat. 2 Chronicles 20:17 says, “This battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still, and see the victory of the LORD on your bahalf, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow  go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.” I sat astounded as He spoke directly to me through His word, the Bible. I gave my worry and inadequacy to the LORD and then I read this verse again. 

“This battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still, and see the victory of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.”

What I learned was this, I need to take my position. On this particular day my position is to be home with my kids caring for them, loving them, teaching them and to continue to apply for jobs and wait for open doors. My position is not to worry about the future. So I will take my position,  keep plugging away and not allow the enemy to steal my joy and my faith in the LORD while I wait. After I have taken my position I will stand, wait and watch the LORD open the door He has for me to walk through. 

As I was telling my mom this story in the car, my daughter Ellie overheard our conversation. She is worried about transitioning to a new school and what unraveled before my eyes was just as the Holy Spirit spoke to me He was speaking to her in that moment. She said, “So when I go to my new school I am going to stand still…even though I will be walking because I have to get to class…and I will wait for the LORD to win the victory and bring me friends.” After she said this I was brought to tears because my struggle brought clarity to my daughter in her situation. So may I encourage you today. If you are feeling the pangs of UNQUALIFIED screaming in your ears remember to take your position, stand still and watch the LORD bring the victory for He is with you. 

1. Take your position.

2. Stand still.

3. Watch the LORD bring the victory for He is with you. 

Lord,

I have felt unqualified, the last to be picked and not good enough at various times in my life and You have always brought me through to the other side. I acknowledge that was You who took my hand and have won so many victories in my life and for those around me. Today I face another battle and I am clinging to You the One who makes me qualified. I have friends and family reading this today who are also feeling pain, loss, last picked, overlooked and left behind. Help us to recall these three bullet points that we are to take our position, stand still and watch You LORD. Please fix our eyes on You when we do not know the outcome. May we remain faithful when it looks as though we are losing. Please keep our eyes on You and open to see Your hand guiding and leading us through it all. God, you are so good to be mindful of our situations. God, You are such a loving Father to take our hand gently and lead is in the way You have for us to go. You are so good to strengthen us when we are weak and to prepare us for the battles that You have for us to walk through. Thank you for never leaving our side! Thank you that we can call you Loving Father and that you give us the name Daughter. We love You and trust You.

Amen